Fascination is not always enough

Sat Jul 2 – CP Prize was fabulous, and exhausting. I brought along “Coffee Bar of Splendor” and had a wonderful time making hot and cold drinks all day long. The theme of the event was a medieval pilgrimage, where you could get pilgrim’s tokens at different festival game booths. The kingdom newsletter (the CP) was hoping to earn $3,000, and reportedly earned $10,000 at the event. How fantastic!

Even better, some friends are hosting a weekend/camping event for a Dyestuffs Workshop in late August. I’ve been worried a little about getting my registration in, because the reg fee just wasn’t in my budget so far. But they came up with a great idea (because they kept coming back for drinks from coffee bar all day)—they offered a discount registration fee if I would bring and host coffee bar at the event. Done! I’ve already spent money on coffee bar ingredients, so I’m more than happy to host it in exchange for a discount (and it’s a very significant discount!).

After tearing down and packing up from the event, eight of us went out for Middle Eastern & Greek food nearby. It was an amazing dinner, so if you ever find yourself in Pasadena, I can *highly* recommend “Burger Continental.” I never would have guessed the menu, based on the restaurant name, but it was scrumptious. And if you’re trying to feed 2-4 people, try ordering the “Royal Feast” sometime. It came with something like 4-7 appetizers, 3-6 entree items, and completely overwhelmed the two people who ordered it.

Finally, I was supposed to jet off to rehearsal at the studio, but one of the guys caught up with me as I was walking down the street. We ended up sitting outside of a Barnes & Noble and chatting for nearly an hour. I finally got to learn *tons* more about him, giving me a better respect for what he’s been through and how he thinks.

It also got me thinking on the way home about how *I* think, what fascinates me, and the patterns in my life of the people to whom I’ve been attracted. You know how they say that women always go for the bad boys? Now, I’m not saying this has ever been a pattern I agreed with, but I finally put my finger on what it was about certain guys I’ve liked in high school or college. I just don’t *have* a huge dark streak or chaos streak in me. And so dark, brooding, intense guys are a fascination the way dangerous and poisonous things are fascinating. The ones that don’t smile that often, that I just want to make smile? Ah ha! Knowing this puts it all into perspective!

Yes, different people I’ve been attracted to look somewhat alike, act somewhat alike (with a few notable exceptions), and this usually translates into vague red flags for me. Especially when I meet someone that reminds me of my ex-husband. But now I really *get* why they’re all so similar.

So I ended up having a really good cathartic cry about some of this in the car ride home, but I’m much better now. *laughs* It’s always wonderful to get my bearings, to feel stable and normal again, and to see more about the world around me. I love understanding and wisdom.

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