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No Moving Truck

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When my Mom was a little girl, she was in the Philippines once, and watched some artisans carve these amazing end tables, which they created by sitting on stools and holding the chisels between their toes. At least, that’s how I remember the story being told. I’ll have to ask her about that, because it seems ridiculous now.

Anyways, I’ve always loved the 2 end tables and the coffee table, and said jokingly that I’d like them left in the will to me. Now she’s completely redesigning her kitchen, and she wants everything in the kitchen, dining room, and family room completely changed. So all the kids have to take stuff away from her house now. I’m supposed to pick up three very tall bookcases and a cd-tower to match, plus the three carved tables.

I had reserved a moving truck for today, and even coaxed my roomies into driving me up north an hour on the freeway to pick up the truck, help me load the furniture, and then follow me back home to the apartment to unload everything and return the truck down here (as a one-way truck). But late yesterday afternoon, the truck company called to apologize that they won’t have a truck available in the morning after all. They *might* have one by the afternoon, but no guarantees.

*gigantic sigh*

So now I’ve puttered around all afternoon, no call from the company, no truck, no furniture moved. But this evening the roomies and I will still drive up to my Mom’s town to see “Guys and Dolls” so it won’t be a completely lost day. Just now I’ll have to find a half-day off work to have Geoff drive me up after he gets off work, provided they have a truck available on one of his “get off at 1 pm” days this week, and that I can leave work early to meet up with him and do the trip.

Well, back to puttering and catching up on TiVo. At least I can say that I’m getting a few organizational things done on my computer this afternoon.

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Back to the journaling method

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A dear friend of mine has been using Journal Scape successfully for years now, and I finally thought this morning, “Gee, some friends have been bugging me to get back to journaling again.”

So I’ll be not only trying to give little daily updates from here on out, but trying to move my old archives over here one by one.

Life’s been really great in the new job—today marks five full weeks at the new place! In week three I managed to work out at the gym 3x, week four 3x in the gym, and week five just once so far but I’m planning to go today as well.

Most of my brain conversations lately have included all the sane and healthy steps to putting my life back into a normal routine again. I’m glad for my experience on the government subcontract job, and certainly love the Excel-guru skills I picked up, but I’m relieved to be back into a normal public-sector job, back on the career I was doing three years ago, and in a fantastic company where there are gazillions of benefit. It’s really encouraging to be back in an encouraging environment. *phew*

So, here’s to being sane and balanced and organized again!

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Thoughts about dating and things

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A friend of mine wrote me an email:

> I thought of joining up with Match.com….

And I wrote her back. Here’s some of my ideas on the topic:
* * * * *

Hmmm. I have some thoughts on this. I spent a few months last summer giving the whole internet thing a try, really being open-minded to see how it works, what works or doesn’t work, and what it costs–both in finances, effort, time, emotion, etc. My conclusion? It’s not worth it. It’s not the best use of my time, efforts, or money. It’s too easy to get either cynical or frustrated or depressed, which is never a healthy path to go down. And that comes from someone who’s already self-confident and extroverted and even someone who’s very comfy and savvy on computers.

No, it’s not worth it in my opinion.

My beliefs about meeting someone include the following:
(1) I’ll meet someone in my existing social circles.
(2) I’ll meet someone in a new social circle.
(3) or I won’t meet anyone at all.

That sure takes the pressure off it all! 🙂 How easy and simple–I either will or won’t meet someone. That’s it. *laughs heartily*

In the meantime, there are some things I can do: (a) I can work on myself and my own internal health. I can get back into the gym and be physically fit, or improving. That’s a good thing, and can only make me feel better and live longer. And it certainly makes me more attractive, whether or not anyone is interested. Looking good, feeling good–it benefits me personally and all my friends and family. I’m better able to be there for them.

(b) I can pursue my dreams and my accomplishments. I can figure out what matters the most in my life, and set the wheels in motion to be a success and achieve my goals. Some of my goals are about putting my health in order. Some are about putting my financial house in order. Some goals are about being a great employee. Some goals are about being a good friend and family member (remembering birthdays if just for a short email or a short phone call, or remembering to put a card in the mail; or visiting the people I’ve been thinking of but never got around to seeing).

Some goals are much bigger–like learning to do the AIDS ride some day on bicycle, or learning to be fluent in ASL. Or studying some of the research for my arts and crafts projects, organizing the supplies in my house, and setting aside regular times to work on sewing or knitting or spinning yarn or working with leather.

Other goals are smaller–like just picking up the house regularly, always having the dishes put away, always making my bed, vacuuming more regularly, scrubbing the downstairs bathroom, or finally tackling the garage and those boxes I don’t want to deal with.

Other goals are internal–not getting frustrated with my roomies about the cleanliness of the house. If I want it cleaner, I could clean it myself AND make sure that I work on my internal attitude–to be thankful for the health and the time to do the cleaning. And to be thankful for the ability to do something in service of other people.

You see the pattern? I have just myself to worry about, and how I affect the people around me at home, in my family, at church, at work–and if I always work on making myself better, how can I be worried about being single? I just want to shrug it off and tackle the things I can affect in my life. I can’t just go looking for someone to date. But if I make myself a more wonderful person to be around, I’m more likely to be attractive to someone. And if I stay single anyways, at least I’ll still be even more pleasant company than I am already and so being single will be a joy and a comfort, not a burden and a heartache.

This is the only thing I’ve learned in the past mubmmbledy-mum years. I have to be the best person I can be, and no less. One, because it’s good for me. Two, because it’s good for the world around me. And most importantly, at the core, because God asks me to be. The rest is up to Him, so why should I stress about it?

Now, I’m not so “shrug it off” as to not know what matters to me in a partner someday. I took the time to write down in a list the things that matter to me. The things that are non-negotiable, and the things that are just attractive and fun but not necessary. My closest friends know what matters to me, and I tease them that they are part of my “Yenta Team.” You know the show “Fiddler on the Roof” ? The Jewish matchmaker character, her name is Yenta. So if my friends happen to meet someone that would be a likely candidate, they’re on the look-out for me. I trust them, and I trust myself. Either someone will be right or they won’t.

I don’t have to worry about [figuring out who might be attracted to me], I don’t hang out in bars, I don’t go looking. But I have my eyes open, my ears open, my friends prepped and ready to recognize someone. That’s all I can do, and I can leave it at that.

There’s plenty for me to worry about and fix in my life, and it’s been a matter of learning to put “find a mate” much lower on my priority list than ever before. Talk about getting rid of a burden! 🙂

She wrote:
> … I don’t know, maybe I’ll just stay single.

Well, I like to look at it this way–what can I learn about myself and my life from all the relationships I’ve had in the past? I have *tons* of horrible relationships in my past, and that list I wrote that I mentioned before? Most of it comes from the “lessons learned” from these bad relationships. Since I’ve been through the bad ones, I know what matters for finding a good one. And I’m not planning to compromise on the things that matter–which is another reason I think I’ll be single and not looking but not closed to the idea if someone just happened to show up.

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